SELF INQUIRY: AWARENESS OF MISALIGNMENT
Hello and welcome to Inward - a mid month memo.
My intention for 'Inward' is to provide bite-sized topics that spark awareness, introspection and, if you deem it helpful or necessary, behaviour change.
Have a read, absorb what resonates today and save it in your mailbox so you can refer to it again throughout the month.
SELF INQUIRY: AWARENESS OF MISALIGNMENT
“What part of my current way of living no longer feels aligned with my values or vision?”
The awareness of a need to change usually begins as a sense of unease about a long standing behaviour pattern or habit that used to be of value. That subtle discomfort is your innate wisdom nudging you to notice the ways of being that once protected or served you, but have now become problematic.
When you meet that feeling with curiosity instead of criticism (aka 'reactivity'), you will be instigating a shift. Every pattern has a story and understanding why it began allows you to decide whether it still has a place. Or not.
This is how change begins - not through force, but through understanding, followed by small, values aligned actions, practiced moment by moment.
INSIGHT: THE ROOTS OF RESENTMENT
At its core, resentment is a mix of hurt, anger, and disappointment left unspoken or unresolved. It arises when we feel unfairly treated, unseen, or unappreciated, and when unspoken expectations or idealised notions of how another should be go unmet. Over time, these silent hopes turn into disappointment as we measure our partner against a role they never agreed to play — expectations shaped by childhood needs, unhealed wounds, and deeper fears of being unseen, unloved, or unsafe.
When we hold expectations tightly, we stop relating to the real person in front of us and start relating to the idea of who we think they should be. Resentment is an internal signal that the gap between expectation and reality needs addressing.
The work isn’t to make the other change, but to become aware of our own narratives and ask: what story am I still telling about the other person, about how relationships should work and ultimately about love? And, how is it effecting my wellbeing and my connection with the other?
The antidote to resentment lies in acceptance - seeing things as they are, not as we wish them to be - and in honest acknowledgment of the behaviours we can no longer overlook, in ourselves or in the other.
PRACTICE: MINDFUL WALKING
This month’s practice is simple but powerful: walk for five minutes each day without music, podcast, notifications or conversation.
Walk slowly and tune in to your surroundings — listen, see, and sense. Feel your feet meet the ground and your breath finding its rhythm. Notice the breeze moving through the leaves and across your skin, and listen closely to the sounds around you.
This is awareness in motion.
Mindful walking brings you out of your head and back into direct experience. It steadies the mind, softens tension, and reconnects you to the beauty of quietude that is always available in the present moment. Over time, this small daily ritual strengthens your capacity for presence - the presence that deepens your connection to your one self as you live your one life.
WHAT I'VE BEEN NOTICING
Lately, I’ve been observing my patterns and habits around eating and tracing them back to their roots and the beliefs I formed about myself long ago. As a child, I was overfed and often teased for being overweight. It was confusing and painful, and those early experiences shaped how I related to food and my body for decades.
To cut a fifty-year story short, I’m now practising mindful eating and healthy weight management in service of my wellbeing - which remains my priority each day. I’m choosing nourishment and enjoyment over angst and shame, and I will no longer feed the story that has led to lifelong body-image pain.
Practice makes progress, and with a pattern fifty years in the making, disempowerment doesn’t happen overnight. It takes awareness in the moments that matter, and the willingness to begin again - moment by moment, day by day, mindfully honouring my one self and one life.
Wishing you a fulfilling month and don’t hesitate to hit reply, I’d love to hear from you.
🧡 Jo
PS. Remember, whenever you are stressed, triggered or overwhelmed - BMWS:
Breathe in deeply with long sighing exhales, Move Around, drink Water + Supportive Self Talk.